I follow a blog that posts a different word every day as a writing prompt for other bloggers. I never actually do the prompt because I won’t write about something that’s not on my heart. But, today the word was doubt..and doubt? It’s a funny thing. I think doubt weighs on everyone’s heart now and then. The thing about being anxious is that you can be a little anxious and still be excited, you can be a little tired and still be enthused, you can even be a little angry but still feel love. Think about water: there are lots of crazy things people put in water…lemon, sugar, cucumbers, oranges. These things don’t ruin the water, they just change it a bit, but doubt is like soy sauce. Put a little soy sauce in that glass of ice water and it’s ruined. That’s how doubt feels to me…like someone stepped inside my control panel, hit the big red button, and shut the whole day down. It’s a crippling emotion.
Thoughts like, “I’m not good enough” or,”I can’t do this” tend to creep into our minds. It can be hard to avoid these thoughts, but they aren’t true and they aren’t a true reflection of your value. “When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.” Psalms 94:19. God doesn’t fill your mind with doubt, satan does.
Everyone battles with this funny little thing called doubt; whether it is self-doubt or doubt from others. So many people let their self-doubt confine them within borders that they were meant to break through, too afraid to fail. What if you never sought out your full potential because you doubted that you would succeed? What if you never showed love for another because you had doubt that you would be loved in return? What if Jesus didn’t die on the cross because he had doubts about whether or not we were worth it? How easy is it to see the potential in someone else, but doubt it in ourselves?
The truth is, I believe in myself (maybe even more than I should sometimes). I know I have God on my side, I know that if something is meant to be it will work out, and I don’t doubt myself. That’s one thing about me…no matter how crazy or random the goal or idea is, if I feel it’s right, I don’t think twice. Of course, I have to fight the doubt that satan slips in my mind or in my environment from time to time (as does everyone else), but for the most part, I am a confident person when I believe in something. I consider myself lucky in this regard but don’t get me wrong, I do struggle with doubt…doubt from others. I am so quick to let someone else’s doubt or uncertainty about me and/or my decisions “ruin my glass of ice water”. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has experienced it: You have this idea, or this plan, or this opportunity… you have gone through all the logistics, made a decision, prayed about it, and you share it with someone…and they doubt you. I think that is the most crippling form of doubt. Who cares if satan’s not rooting you on and is filling your mind with doubt. If you are doing something for the right reasons, satan will most definitely put doubt in your mind…this should be validation that you are doing something great (and that the enemy hates it)! But, when a friend or family member or colleague isn’t rooting you on, it can be very discouraging. Having someone doubt you, especially when you were so sure of yourself, is one of the hardest feelings, in my opinion, to shake. Having someone doubt me is like I’ve built up this Jenga tower of reasons and validations for something, and it is standing tall and strong…and then someone pulls out the bottom piece when all you really wanted was to confide in them. I have to remember constantly that it is my life, my decisions and it is their doubt…but it’s hard. We’ve all been there.
There is sooo much uncertainty in this world and we are all battling satan’s doubt. Why don’t we try to not make others uncertain about themselves too? I think it is more important than I ever realized before to surround ourselves with people who can see our potential, build us up, help us to validate ourselves, and help us to falsify our doubt.